Children of Light and Dark
by Peeta Melark
Summary: What if Padme had been unable to die, no matter how sad she was? Could she and Obi Wan bring back her beloved Ani? She would have to raise the twins herself unless Ani could be saved. But would it be good for them to have a mum who is not Force sensitive?
1. Life is Hard to Leave

Padme Amidala looked at Obi Wan. Her eyes closed for what seemed to be the last time, and she breathed what seemed to be her last breath. Her head fell to the side, and she went completely limp. The Jedi had to grab Leia to keep her from falling out of her mother's arms.

"She is dead," Obi Wan said. The medical droids nodded slowly. Padme was dead.

"No, wait!" cried a voice from the door. It was a little girl who had wandered to the Med Center. "She's alive! I can—"

Obi Wan Nodded. "Feel it." He finished her statement with sadness. This was not the time for Force Sensitive children. They would be in danger. Grave danger. Her leaned in to the girl and whispered to her.

"Go. Run. Tell no one of this talent. If you ever do need to use it… feel and don't think. But that is for desperate times. Do not use that unless you must."

The girl nodded, frightened. She backed to the door and then ran full speed down the hall. She only stopped to bow ever so slightly to the Jedi Master. Obi Wan reached out to Padme with the Force. She was alive, yes, but she had lost all will to live.

"Padme," he said, "You will stay alive for your children. Do you hear me?"

Padme's breathing became a bit easier, and her eyelids fluttered. She heard him. She would live. Obi Wan stroked her soft brown hair in what he hoped was a soothing way. She sighed and he passed the twins to her.

"Obi Wan…" she murmured, "We will get him… back."

She closed her eyes and fell asleep. Luke and Leia, wrapped in pale blankets, were clutched to her chest. Obi Wan smiled sadly, and took the two babies from her arms. She didn't move except for her breathing, and the slight movement behind her eyelids. He knew she was dreaming.

Suddenly she cried out.

"Ani, wait! No! Ani? ANI!"

Her eyes flew open, and she gazed at Obi Wan dazedly. For a moment she didn't seem to know where she was and she smiled at him. Then that smile disappeared. Her eyes clouded with weariness, and she sank deeper into her pillows.

"Padme…" Obi Wan said. She didn't answer. Her eyes seemed to glaze over, and she brought her hand up to her throat. She gasped and reached out with the other hand to Obi Wan.

"The Force Choke is still in effect." Obi Wan should have known it would come back in some form. Reaching out with the Force, he removed the invisible hand that grasped the young woman's neck.

Padme sighed slowly and stared at Obi Wan. Her eyes, though gradually brightening, were still dull with fear and exhaustion. A small smile touched the corner of her lips, and she reached up to brush her hand on Obi Wan's cheek. _She thinks I'm Anakin!_ The thought was sudden, but it worried him.

Padme's eyes closed and her hand fell back across her chest. Obi Wan checked her heartbeat and breathing before whispering goodnight, putting the twin's to bed and leaving the medical ward.

"Rest well, Padme Amidala," he said. "The road ahead of you will be long and difficult. Do not stray much farther from the path set out for you. Goodnight."


	2. Chasms of Grief Heal Slowly

Obi Wan watched the family with a sad gleam in his blue eyes. Padme was holding the twins in her arms. Now four years old, they were quite adventurous. Young Luke fixed his large blue eyes on his mother.

"Mama?" he asked. "Who's that?"

He pointed at Obi Wan. Padme smiled sadly, murmuring something to her son that was never meant to reach another's ears. Not even Obi Wan's. The Jedi closed his eyes, trying to place the emotion that had flashed in the young woman's eyes. Weariness. That's what it was. Ever since the twin's had been born, there had been a weariness she could not shake. It clouded her eyes and seemed to weigh her down like a dark fog. Obi Wan could do nothing as the years wore on and Padme's sorrow deepened.

Padme turned her children to face Obi Wan. One pair of blue eyes and two pairs of brown faced him. He walked over slowly. The girl resembled her mother very much. She had a pretty face and her hair and eyes were a lovely shade of brown. The boy most closely resembled his father. Blue eyes and blond hair and that same look of curiosity and intelligence. But as they were four, Obi Wan could hardly guess what they would look like as adults.

Leia fixed her bright eyes on Obi Wan, and it was clear she was every bit as intelligent as her brother, if not more. Her eyes betrayed a quick mind and a sharp tongue. The boy's eyes read recklessness. Obi Wan hoped that would vanish once he reached the double digits.

"Obi Wan?" the twin's asked in unison. Obi Wan smiled and nodded.

"Are you our dad?" asked Luke. Obi Wan felt his smile melt away.

"Your father," he began, "is gone. You cannot know him."

The children's faces fell. Luke's large eyes welled up with tears that threatened to spill over. His lower lip trembled and he swallowed a sob. Obi Wan's heart felt heavy and cold in his chest. What had he said? The children had no father, and he had told them they never would! Leia, however, wrenched herself from her mother's arms and stood on the grass.

"Liar! Liar!" she cried shrilly, glaring up at the Jedi. "Our daddy is alive! 'Cause I said so!"

There was so much force in the toddler's voice, that Obi Wan took a step back. Padme gave a strained smile and pulled the tiny girl back onto her lap. Leia fell into her mother's arms, crying quietly. Padme stroked the girl's silky hair and stared at Obi Wan dazedly. For four years, there had been hardly a glint to her eyes. Now there was nothing but a deep, dark chasm of grief.

"How could you have said that, Obi Wan?" Her voice was a flat monotone. Her grief would not be good for either children in later years, especially for the boy, Obi Wan thought.

"Mama? Daddy's just on a mission, right?" asked Luke. Padme nodded. When she spoke, her tone was unchanged.

"Yes, sweetheart. Of course."

She gazed at Obi Wan with those dark, emotionless eyes. Though taught of the Force and it's calming ability, he felt he could bear no more. He nodded farewell and walked down the dirt path, looking back only once to see three pairs of eyes watching him go.


	3. Sad Eyes Grow Dull

Obi Wan watched from a distance as the children grew. The years wore on slowly until they were at the age of seven. He had been right, for the most part, about their eyes. They really did hold their character. Leia's mind was as swift as her tongue was sharp. Luke, though slightly reckless and thoughtless, was as intelligent as his sister. They sat playing together at a small, round table.

"No, Leia! That's not fair!" Luke wailed in dismay. Leia gave a cocky smile and said:

"Rules are rules, Luke!"

The girl laughed mercilessly and stood up. The children chased each other around the grass happily. But there was a shadow looming in the air. Their mother sat on a picnic blanket, skirts spread around her. She looked beautiful from the distance Obi Wan was standing at, but he knew her eyes were vacant. Her face held no emotion, even though it smiled. _Yes_. Obi Wan thought. _Her face smiles, but she does not._ His heart ached. A mother who could not feel much but dull pain was raising the children.

Leia stumbled and fell over her long skirt. For a moment, Obi Wan thought he saw shock flash in Padme's eyes. Moving closer, he saw that it had passed. The child got to her feet and resumed her chase. Padme sat still and looked at the vast green land. Obi Wan, unseen by any member of the family, examined her closely. She was pale and tired looking. There was no glint in her eyes.

"Mama! Mama!" shouted Luke, running into his mother's arms. Leia followed closely behind, indignation on her delicate face.

"I didn't do it, Mama!" she cried. Padme didn't blink, but gazed at her children as if they were a bittersweet memory.

Obi Wan's heart turned cold. He came to the children's side and put a hand on their shoulders. Two pairs of eyes looked at him. Luke seemed slightly pleased to see the stranger from his past, while Leia's face was suspicious. Obi Wan knew she didn't trust him, but he hoped to change that in the near future.

"Children. I am Obi Wan Kenobi. I was like a brother to your father. Please allow me to be 'uncle' Obi Wan to you."

Luke nodded at once, happy to have a new member of the family. Leia did not move, but watched the Jedi suspiciously. She whispered to her mother. Finally Padme said.

"Obi Wan. I know you have come to help me, but I do not want your help. You will never be Anakin, and you will not raise my children!"

She gathered up the picnic blanket in her arms and glided of like a ghost. Leia followed her mother closely, scowling at Obi Wan as she left. Luke, however, did not seem to like his mother's choice. Giving Obi Wan a sad look over his shoulder, he walked after his mother and twin sister. Now Obi Wan knew something had to be done. The children could not be raised like that! It wasn't fair to them!

"Goodbye, children. Do not despair. I shall help you if it costs me my life."

He stood still and watched their retreating forms, weeping mentally, but not physically. After a long pause, the Jedi Master turned and left the garden, a sad smile on his face.


	4. Loneliness is not Easy to Reveal

Luke Amidala Skywalker kept his eyes on the blue sky. He didn't want to take them away from the beautiful sight. He knew what he would see, anyway. He would see his mother's vacant stare. He would see his sister's proud but haunted face. He would see the weariness etched in the beautiful features of his mother's face.

Daring to glance back, he saw his fears were real. His mother rested her head on her arm tiredly, not touching the cup of tea on the table in front of her. The young woman's brown eyes gazed at nothing. Leia sat at their mother's side. Her pretty face held all her pride in it, but her eyes were haunted. She longed for something her mother couldn't give. Her. Both children longed for that same thing.

A father. The twins lay side by side every night, wishing silently for a father. They knew they must have had one at some time. Their mother had always told them he had died before they were born. But… if that were so, why were her eyes dull? Wouldn't she have moved on by then? Surely there were other men who would marry her!

No. Luke and Leia knew in their hearts that something was wrong. Their mother still thought she was married to her husband. She said his name was her little secret. She never told them where he was, if he was not dead.

"Mama?" Luke asked. Padme didn't raise her head.

"Yes, Luke?" she said tiredly. Her eyes fluttered closed for a moment, and she sighed. Luke shrugged his shoulders.

"Nothing. I just wondered where Dad is."

Padme's eyes opened and stared blankly at her son. Luke knew what was coming. He had heard it every time he or Leia asked that question.

"Dead." Padme didn't blink. Her eyes didn't clear up and she didn't smile at the eight year olds. She just sighed again and resumed her blank staring. Her eyes closed after a minute and Leia got up and left.

Luke knew where his twin was going. He felt hurt radiating from her like waves. She was going to their room. She would sit down on the bed and stare for a minute or two. Then she would sob silently into her pillows. Luke had seen her do that from time to time. He didn't want to see it again. He hated seeing Leia upset, but he felt helpless.

Padme didn't follow Leia or attempt to see the problem. She stared after her, and Luke saw a ghost of concern. But it was gone as soon as it came.


	5. Children of the Force

Obi Wan watched the children play on his holo-camera. He had set them up all over the castle in an attempt to help them. Padme didn't know, nor would she care if she did. She had grown more distant than ever as the children reached nine. For that was the age their father had been when she first met him.

Now it was their birthday, and Padme was trying to make sure everything was perfect. She had made a cake for them and invited some old family friends. Obi Wan, of course, was one of them. He switched off his 'comlink' and walked through the doors. The three pairs of eyes watched him once more.

"Obi… Wan?" Luke asked. He threw himself at him and hugged him. Obi Wan looked at the boy from arms length.

"So like his father. But his eyes have your shape, Padme. And his face is more delicate than his father's at this age. A fine young boy."

Then he placed a hand on Leia's shoulder. The girl slapped him away. Her brown eyes burned furiously. Obi Wan laughed.

"So like her mother. But she has her father's eye shape, does she not? And less fragile than her mother, it seems. Quite small, too. But she's a fighter. Still hate me, eh?"

Leia nodded at the last part and slunk off to sit by her mother. Luke watched the Jedi for a moment. Then he asked what he could never have asked any one else.

"Where _is_ my father?"

Obi Wan stiffened and his smile faded. He replied with one word: dead. Then he left the castle. Then he heard the boy cry out:

"He's not dead! I can feel it."

Obi Wan turned back, Yoda's voice echoing in his ears. Could this boy be the Chosen One? Impossible. Anakin was the One. The prophecy was dead. He had failed to teach the boy's father as he should have been taught. Now he was gone forever. There would be no saving him.

Luke ran over and hugged Obi Wan tightly. Obi Wan patted the boy's hair and listened to the boy's mournful wailing. It was quite clear that 'dead' wouldn't cut it with Luke. Obi Wan tried a new method.

"Luke. Your father has gone down a path none of us can travel with him. It would cost you your life to attempt to save his."

Luke sniffled and let go of Obi Wan. The Jedi smiled. Luke rubbed his nose on the back of his hand and Leia snorted.

"Gross, Luke! Have you heard of the latest invention? TISSUE!"

She threw one at him, but it caught the air and fell short. Luke reached out and grabbed it, grinning at his sister. Obi Wan saw quite clearly that they loved each other. He knew that at night they held hands in the dark, imagining life as it should have been. He knew from the way both Luke and Leia smiled and locked eyes for a moment. Then both smiles were replaces by solemn loneliness.

"Padme," Obi Wan said, "You _must_ let me aid your children. It is not good for them to be without a father figure if you're going to sit and stare blankly."

Padme didn't blink. She kept her dark eyes fixed on something only she could see. She only shook her head.

"You don't understand, Obi Wan. I want my Ani back." She paused, "Help me, Obi Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope."

Obi Wan nodded. Sighing deeply he promised to do his best. And without another word he left.


	6. For Now

It was the children's eleventh birthday, and no Anakin. There were presents, yes. Cake, too. But there was no father to lift them off their feet and tell them that they were middle school age now, if they actually went to a real school with other kids. There was no smile from their mother, not even a real hug. Padme just sat on her chair, staring at the twins. Her hair tumbled, un-brushed, down her back and her eyes were red rimmed from crying. No doubt she had been up all night, unable to sleep.

Luke hadn't been able to sleep either. He had sat up, looking at Leia, his mind reeling. He wondered where their father was and why he had ruined their lives. Why wasn't he home yet? It was only a stupid mission! Shouldn't he see his children grow up and maybe even see their children? Had he found a woman he loved more than their mother? Was he dead? Or did he ever even go on that mission to begin with. No. Luke's instinct told him it was made up. There was no mission, and there never would be a mission.

A noise pulled him out of his reflections. Padme had fallen so she was leaning on the table, her head on her arms. Leia was shaking her, her eyes glittering with tears. Luke's heart ached for them, but most of all for his sister. It wasn't Leia's fault. It was Padme's. She lied to them.

"Mama! Please wake up! Please! Please wake up!" Leia was screaming. "We need you! We need you _desperately_!"

Padme sat up and looked at the little girl blankly. Leia gasped and scrambled back. Luke found it his place to step in.

"Mama!" he said. "Mama, look at me! No! Look at _me!_"

Padme didn't respond, so Luke stepped into her sight. She seemed to acknowledge his presence so he continued.

"Father is gone. He won't come back, mama! He's gone to who-knows-where. He's not on a mission and you know it. Just look at us! Don't see father in us; see us! Just us. See your children. Love us. Take care of us. We've been on our own for so long, and we're hurting. Mama…"

His voice faltered and he started to cry. Leia did too. They looked at each other and ran to comfort the other. Suddenly they found themselves wrapped in a hug stronger than either of them could give.

"Oh, my children!" Padme sobbed. "I'm so sorry!"

"You're back, mama!" cried Leia gleefully. Padme nodded.

"Perhaps for now," came the cryptic reply.


End file.
